Artist Statement

Lauren Crest

2D Emphasis

    The topic of eating disorders is a deep, and often contradictory, problem that I wish to explore. I find myself captivated and repulsed by the angles of the emaciated form and was inspired to begin to draw it. An eating disorder is more of an issue than just being about food. It can't be fixed by simply forcing someone to eat. It is not simply an act for attention.  An eating disorder is  a way of living. It is a disease. It is about a lack of love for and compensation of one's self. It is about perfection and a desire to be pure. It is a hatred for life and a pain so strong that most admit that they wish they could simply disappear. It is an obsession, a companion, a constant reminder that one can never be small enough, good enough, or worth enough to amount to anything. It is protection and a shield from suffering. It is a beautiful, horrible, chaotic mess of contradictions.
       

How have I explored this so far:   

     Some of the most important factors in eating disorders are a person's starting weight, current weight, goal weight and ultimate goal weight. The ultimate goal weight is usually an unachievable weight. If it is achieved it it is simply lowered once more. A person with an eating disorder seems to find that they are never truly satisfied with whatever number they are presented with on their scale. My "Disappearing" series focuses on the ultimate goal weight as well as on the constantly repeated desire that most victims of eating disorders want to disappear. I have attempted to show the "perfection" that they seek. In these images I highlight what their goals are, to see their bones and to be thin as well as to achieve a purity that is rid of human needs and desires. The exterior of the form is faded and hardly there in order to allow for beauty to show through while also becoming a symbol for death.
    People with eating disorders  break the body into parts. They focus on perfection for all parts in order to achieve perfection as a whole. Thinspiration is a term that is used for images that inspire one to restrict food and increase exercise  in order to lose weight. These images are usually specific to individual body parts. The gap between thighs, the protuberance of hips and ribs, the jutting of shoulder blades, the knobby-ness of elbows and knees are all extremely desirable. These images, while shocking to the public, are viewed as ideals and the epitome of beauty. These images show obsession. I have attempted to show these things in my own way to express the pain and  anguish as well as beauty that these images hold.

How I plan to continue to explore this:

    People with eating disorders resort to fidgeting and constant movement as a way to burn as many calories as they can. They do this through pacing, playing with hands, bouncing feet, walking for hours, lifting weights, doing cardio, etc. These are crucial factors in eating disorders. I plan on depicting these in a similar  technique as Peter Jansen and Bill Wadman.
    As mentioned above, people with eating disorders focus on many stages of themselves and strive toward specific goals. I plan on compiling images on transparent or translucent surface in order to show all of these stages at once. In order to show the inner thoughts as well as outer changes, text will be utilized to reveal the same critical qualities of thoughts that victims of eating disorders constantly are weighed down with. These walls of text may be illegible at times with the various layers of text building upon each other. This will be used to show the state of a mind that has been twisted and filled with the disorder to such a  point that there is no room left to think clearly. The mind is left only with jumbles of voices that are constantly criticizing.

What I want to achieve:

Death is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well.

I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call
        Lady Lazarus
        Sylvia Plath

    Like Sylvia Plath, I wish to evoke a pungent and piercing emotion through my art. Her poem on dieing is strong and haunting. I want people to feel the urgency and compulsion that victims of  eating disorders face. I want them to view the fragile forms, to find haunting beauty as well as pain in my work. Through further study in  scientific journals and medical articles as well as in  blogs and twitter posts, this subject matter will be strengthened and allow for a more rounded understanding and empathy to exude from my art.